Whose Narrative is Being Told?

For many years, scholars across the fields of Social Science have honed in on the definition of blackness. There has been careful and strategic construction of the Eurocentric perception of the Black family. These ideas have been propagated in global media outlets and have shaped the understanding of the identity of Africans in America. Many use these ideas of blackness as a basis for determining the worth of black men and women within the larger society, as well as to justify the oppression of the black family as a whole. Have we really digressed into this lower version of ourselves or have we just become so docile in objecting to the White Supremacist view with our own definitions that we are contributing to our own death? I propose that both are problems which must be examined and solved and we can start by turning the television off.

tv

 

Redefining Black Culture

Defining ourselves for ourselves is not just about the influences of the media but the relations amongst our community. We must acknowledge the truth in the misconceived notions of our culture, and expose the black man and woman for their role in their own oppression. This information is not meant to shame blackness but to focus on how we must uplift ourselves. Afrocentricity has been defined in many different ways but I believe the definition given to us by Molefi Asante to be quite comprehensive and simple. “Afrocentricity is a mode of thought and action which the centrality of African interests, values and perspectives predominate.”  Many question how this word, popularized and misused in its Eurocentric redefinition, could help raise positive racial regard for black people but when practiced correctly this idea has the possibility of reconstructing the black mind. Controlling the black mind has been the key to enslavement and has evolved into self enslavement which was outlined by Willie Lynch in 1712 to the crackers, the slave owners, in the colony of Virginia.

 

“I shall assure you that DISTRUST is stronger than TRUST and ENVY stronger than ADULATION, RESPECT or ADMIRATION. The Black slaves after receiving this indoctrination shall carry on and will become self-refueling and self generating for HUNDREDS of years, maybe THOUSANDS.”

 

And so we have! We have regenerated the negative aspects of our ancestry and become divided in our manner of thinking. The purpose of Afrocentricity is the unification of the Black mentality. It is a global movement of the social, spiritual and psychological uplift of the black man and woman. This idea is essential to rebuild the black family; to provide structure to counteract the White Imperialist ideology that has broken apart and divided our community. Before we can redefine ourselves and our culture it is imperative that we begin to critically reflect on the ways in which we barricade and imprison ourselves. We must acknowledge the ways in which we have oppressed each other, Black man and woman. Huh? I said we must acknowledge the ways in which we have become death to one another, how we have become chaos to one another, how we objectify one another. There have been problems of interaction between the black male and the black female because of our over-investment in Eurocentrism.

There has been a shift in the past 3 years towards Afrocentric ideas but we have become too invested in the materialistic ideas and not concentrating on building political and economic structures. We have focused on the vague changes of our identity and have not invested in becoming life for one another. Robert Oppenheimer spoke in 1945 and he proposed that we as humans have become God, that we as humans have become death. We have gained the capacity to rain down death on this Earth like it has never occurred before, to kill at will and in our case to dispose of our brothers and sisters as if we are not aware of the Revolution. As if we are not aware of the White Imperialist government unifying to commit genocide on our youth. Before we can become life we must properly understand the ways in which we commit death, in which we perpetuate death: with our words, our actions, our minds, our souls and our very existence. We must be existentially reflective so that we may ascend past our lower selves and find the God within us, within each other.

Acknowledging Our Truth

We have become the countenance of Death! We have become the weapons by which our brothers and sisters shed blood. We have become hyper-masculinity we have become “gangsterism” and we have become the denigration of the Black woman, Black man. Huh? I said we have become the sleuth, we have become uncontrolled hormones and we have become apathy towards the Black woman, Black man. We have become reflections of our enslaved ancestors by which we allow our women to be unprotected, our children to be unruled, by which we allow apathy, pride and fear to rule our mentality in the name of individualistic survival. Black men, all black women are not the enemy! We are there to compliment your evolution into manhood, to study together, to struggle together, and to grow; but we will not shoulder the burden of your inadequacies and insecurities. You must transcend past the weakness that is your sexual nature, you must transcend past your anger, and you must discipline yourself! Take your place in the household of the Black Family and lead. Every 96 miafrorosesnutes a black male is killed by the police state in America, In 2013 Non-Hispanic black males comprised 37% of the full prison population.

They are removing you as a factor in the black household, but YOU ARE HERE! As you are here it your duty to protect your women and children. Declare war on the malignancy that is threatening to remove you from your family, your future families and your ancestry. Attack the system with a downpour of economic and political autonomy; remove yourself from dependency on the system that oppresses you! You must organize with your brothers! You must organize with your sisters! You must be ready to fight!

 

We have become co-creators with Death! We have become the weapons by which our brothers and sisters are mentally enslaved. We have become the reproduction of self hatred, we have become insecurity and self loathing and we have become dishonorable, Black woman. We have become the denigration of our bodies, we have become unbalanced emotional and psychological energies, and we have become intolerance of the Black man, Black woman. We too have become reflections of our enslaved ancestors by which we abandon allegiance to our Black men, deprive our black children the knowledge of self, and allow our souls to be misled by greed, scorn and fear in the name of sacrificial survival. Black women, we have gained dependency on the white afroroses2supremacist system to provide our resources. We look to the European for protection, for love and acceptance, for peace. We must let go of the superficial binds of this society and replenish our spiritual wealth so that we may educate our children, so that we may educate our men, so that we may become the countenance of life that will reconnect the between the black man and woman. We must be great wives, mothers, organizers, educators, physicians, and we must heal the wounds of ourselves, our children, and our men. We must be patient, forgiving, and loving. We must properly understand the denigration and blatant abuse the black man has endured at the hands of the system we climb into bed with, cuddling up to the killer of your husbands, fathers, uncles, sons and nephews. Declare war on the executioner of our people, committing genocide against us for over 500 years. Assist your brothers in their attack on the system.

Destiny by Haki Madhubuti

“Under volcanoes & timeless years within watch
and low tones. Around corners, in deep caves among
misunderstood and sometimes meaningless sounds.
Cut beggars, outlaw pimps & whores. Resurrect work.
Check your distance blue. Come earthrise men
deepblack and ready, come sunbaked women rootculture on the move.
Just do what you’re supposed to do, what you say you gonta do
not the impossible, not the unimaginative,
not copy clothed as original and surely
not bitter songs in european melodies. Take hold
do the necessary, the possible, the correctly simple
talk of mission & interpret destiny
put land and selfhood on the minds of our people
do the expected, do what all people do
reverse destruction. Capture tomorrows”

The Collective Black Organism

This destruction of our culture was intentional: the enslavement, hangings, beatings, castrations, burning of bodies, implanting of diseases, poisoning of our food, political exclusion, economic deprivation, educational limitations, and murder. Murder of our spirituality, our collective mentality, our men, women and children, it was all intentional. The European oppressor is responsible for all of these misfortunes but we are responsible for rebuilding our communities. We are responsible for capturing tomorrow for ourselves. It is time to stop using the abuse we have endured, however legitimate, as an excuse for what we continue to do to each other. It is time we recreate our identity rooted in Afrocentric politics, familial structures, spirituality and education. We must recreate the positive attributes of our ancestral culture.

We have are passing through a very dark tunnel of self reflection but now we are at the end, we are now freeing ourselves and bonding ourselves in this collective struggle. I believe that the Black man is God and Light as the Black woman is God and Earth. Our job is to work interchangeably to survive, to protect our younger generations and to restore the memory of our ancestry. NOW is the time to unify and revolutionize. Reconstruct our minds, nourish our bodies, protect our souls and aggregate our resources. We will educate ourselves and be patient within our growth. We will gain discipline and structure. We are under strategic political and economic attack, we will defend ourselves! Now is not the time to be stagnant, intolerant, divided, and consumed with self loathing or ego. Now is the time to study, evolve and gain peace with one another; for we are weak alone but a mighty force together.

“Magic my man is you turning my body into a thousand smiles.

Black magic is your touch making me breathe.”- Sonia Sanchez

“Magic my man is you turning my body into a thousand smiles. Black magic is your touch making me breathe.”- Sonia Sanchez

 

Do You Believe in Magic?

After we have acknowledged where we are stagnant the next step is to evolve. We can make a difference for our future generations and we can become life for one another. Black men and women have stopped loving one another; we have stopped trusting one another and in many ways we perpetuate death as we experience our existence in opposition to one another. There was a time when we were life for one another; where our struggles bonded us and made us fight harder against white supremacist culture. There was a time when we unified against oppressive forces instead of being complicit in our own deaths. We can and will unify again. Brothers and sisters it is time for us to exhibit that magic that Sister Sanchez talked about.

We exist in a political era where it has become normative to murder an entire race of people, men women, and children, while it is witnessed globally; no one doing anything to stop it. It is clear that it is time for us to begin our spiritual consummation with one another. There are many ways to touch and uplift one another. There are many ways that we can remove ourselves from our negative psychological conditioning and transcend into our higher selves. Let us begin by falling back in love with ourselves again, trusting one another again, respecting each other. Let us touch, kiss, smile and make love with each other again Let us revolutionize together. Let us shower each other with positive thoughts, emotions, and actions. We must become balanced again and then we can begin to build our Nation!

Divine blessings and revolution to us all, may our paths collide in the creation of our future.

Mo dupe, Ase.

Author: Wema Shujaa

 

Get my new book- “Resurrection of The Black Woman” For a PDF copy, leave a comment with your email.

IMG_0661

The message is,

“Stop chasing “WHO’s” leaving you, when there is already “SOMEONE” who’s reaching for you.” – MansTruth
This is the cause of your pain.

We have to start singing the same song to our pain that we sing when it rains. “Pain pain, go away, don’t come back another day!” Then follow it up with a Jay melody, “We don’t need you! You mean no equal!” Why are we trying to equalize ourselves with the things that hurt us, and then disturbingly question the pain?
We see the rain, yet we still go outside with no umbrella! Why? Why is it that when we know that we must protect ourselves, we don’t? We go for it anyway. Now, I am all down for taking risks, but there is a thin line between sky diving with a parachute, and sky diving with just the belief that you could fly.️ Even God’s doing the face palm.

Side Note:  I told someone yesterday, “Become the sun, the sky needs you.” Really? She asked.
Well on a day where everyone is gloomy, it’ll be nice if someone brought in some shine right?… Right!

maxresdefault
Many of us are chasing after a sickness, when the medicine we need is right behind us calling our name, “Apollo! Apollo! You fool I’m right here! I’m trying to heal you!” We are chasing this sickness because we have this toxic belief that what makes us sick, will also heal us… Where did that idea come from? 👀
Don’t kill the messenger! I’d like to know the source too.

The beginning quote is actually something that came to me while I was meditating in the shower (we all do it). All praise is due to my teacher, because I definitely needed the jewel.

Have you ever had someone break up with you, or have someone who you were interested in but they didn’t share the same feelings, however you kept trying to get their attention and trying to figure out why they were keeping their distance from you? All the while, you have someone who is completely interested in you but yet you were paying them little to no mind. We have this tendency to chase after what we can’t get and ignore what we already have, and this is why we are all accountable for our own suffering.

Keep ignoring the one chanting your name. Soon they will stop chanting and begin chanting for a new star that what’s to light up their earth. Now you’re just left lonely and single because soon you had also realized that the person who you were chasing was never going to slow down for you to catch them. So now what?

0 (2)  Why do we chase after our pain? Why are you chasing after something that serves you no good? If she left you why the hell are you still calling her phone? Calling his phone? These are questions which I have found to have left many people in doubt of themselves. It’s because we believe that we need answers. It’s because our hearts have gone into an emotional shock, and the mind is playing big brother saying, “hold on now, let’s go find out what’s really going on, because we-need-answers!”

No we don’t, we don’t need to do that. We don’t need to commit to an energy that drains our life right from under our noses, literally. All this does is serve us on the plate left to be eaten by our own dilemma. When God does something, we don’t need to ask him why he did it and what was his intentions. We just need to let the situation be the situation and go on with our lives.

So how do we stop chasing after our pain? How do we let go? We accept the pain as a part of our natural growth process and allow ourselves to grow through it, and eventually rise above it. We have to learn how to accept what is, and wake ourselves up from our illusions! The mind will play tricks on you my friends, but the heart… The heart will take you to where you need to go.

Imagine this, you’re running after trying to convince the person who don’t want you, while turning away the person who is probably meant for you. Life moves fast, and somethings just can’t be undone. We all have an engagement with our mistakes, this is only untied once we have truly learned and have evolved from the person who we were when we made them.

Remember,
There is no such thing as coincidence, and there is no such thing as mistakes being done by the hands of God.
You are not a mistake!
Repeat it to yourself, “I am not a mistake!” Now turn around, your medicine is calling… tumblr_mtahiga2Bs1si1ap7o4_500

0b320d42b9347cb5925ec04d2657675b

Good morning or evening friends. Wherever you are, I hope that this message reaches you well. I have some serious news to pass on to everyone throughout the globe. However, I would like to forewarn you, that what I’m about to say could mean the end of the world as you know it. It could change your emotions from joy and laughter to tears and pain, and then back again.
What I have to say…
In the words of the magnificent Stevie Wonder, “Love’s in need of love today”.

black-lives-matter2

In this present time, we are seeing the world at a suffering state. After many years of fighting oppression and racism, black people are still having to scream out “Black Lives Matter.” We are at the potential of entering into a war that will be like no war that came before it. A war that would see a death rate of millions across the globe. A spiritual war.

t1larg.ivory.coast.gi.afp

We are seeing that unity comes through anger and frustration. Emotions that still divides. People are still divided within communities, more families are falling apart, long lasting friendships and relationships are ending, or have ended already. Trust and loyalty is more questionable. People are preferring to rather stay to themselves and be individuals vs. combining with other lives in the world. Love has become obsolete.

tumblr_mabdr7u12X1rxqplbo1_1280

Relationships are apparent to be so rare today. There are more promotions for the single life and awesome that is, than are there shares of couples and how awesome it is to have a partner. Relationships have become such a rare thing that when seen, people either congratulate it “OMG! Look at that couple! Wow that’s nice to see”. Or hate on it, “Look at them, I give them a month… a week… ehh, a few days and they’ll be done. You can’t trust these hoes.”
tumblr_n7w77eePVS1qfh70bo2_500
You should know that I do not make any of this stuff up. These are statements that I have actually heard coming out of peoples mouths. A majority of us have stopped believing in love. A majority of us don’t know what love is.
small002
Our nature is not to hate. Our nature is not to be divided or to divide ourselves from one another. I have said this many times and people have agreed, that we are naturally loving spiritual beings who have lost touch with our spiritual selves. It is not that we want to fight each other, kill each other, or separate from one another, but what we are involved in, in this present time is the game defined by philosopher Herbert Spencer known as, “survival of the fittest”. We are in survival mode.
floyd-and-50-2
“Everybody wants to be famous
  Nobody wants to be nameless, aimless
  People act shameless
  Tryna live like entertainers” – “Dirtee Cash” by Dizzee Rascal
There are many of us who feel like we have to be someone other than ourselves. Taking upon a whole new identity. We feel as if we have to prove something to be something, and we have to be involved with certain people, to matter to other people. Or we feel that we have to be a mirage of a trending look, create an illusion that we have a certain amount of money, in order to be looked at. We do things because we feel that these are the things that makes us feel complete, but that is wrong, and we are never left complete. Something is always missing, and that something is the you inside which you have lost connection with, your true identity, your true being, your spirit.
We are loving beings by nature, but our love needs love. We need to connect back into our heart space and let our heart be our guides, not our minds. The mind is a wonderful thing but a dangerous thing when given too much power of control.
The Mind vs. The Heart
fcO86
The mind gives you what you want. The heart gives you what you need.
Following your mind may take you where you want to go, but following your heart will lead you to where you need to be. At the end of the day we each choose the path we walk on, but it is a very serious choice which is not realized. What you choose to follow, either the heart or the mind, will be the decision maker for the kind of life that you’ll live as well as the people who live in it with you. However, the heart loves us so much, that if we tell it that our mind is in control of things, it will say “ok”, and will easily let the mind be its guide.
The mind is good, because it helps us think about choices before we finalize them and it helps us see other options. But the heart is our confirmation, the heart verifies, and it is what helps enlighten the mind. Without the heart, the mind will only falsely think that it is enlightened and aware, and that is the ego in charge.

head_heart-final

The world is seeing much suffering, but it doesn’t have to be that way. The path towards change begins with unity. In order for there to be unity however, we need to unite ourselves with our heart space. Unite ourselves with God, because that is the only way that we’ll be able to unite ourselves with each other.
aaahelpingthepoorWe need to do things not to receive, but because it fulfills us to give.
tumblr_n46ozmav5a1s942x1o1_500We need to be there for those that are suffering.

talking-to-strangers-cupofjo

We need to quit our defense mechanism of being strangers, and welcome ourselves to talking to and meeting new people. We should feel comfortable with talking to someone who may be by themselves, or the ones who we notice are often quiet. These are the ones who suffer silently, because they feel as if they have no one to talk to. I have found that the consequences of individuals being left to suffer alone, tend to be suicide, or non-stopping self inflicting pain which soon leads to suicide.
We need to stop being afraid of Love, and start Loving each other! It is the only way that we’ll be able to see the positive change in the world if that’s what we really want to see for ourselves, and the generations to come.
We need to stop letting society be our guide, and just follow what our heart tells us.
large
We need to have the mindset of wanting to rather work out our issues than splitting apart because we are afraid of pain. We must stop avoiding pain and accept it for what it is. Which is a necessary discomfort that helps us evolve in our awareness of things, and evolve within ourselves because every ounce of pain received has a dose or two of a lesson.
© Copyright 2010 CorbisCorporation
Love is in need of Love today, but in order for True Love to manifest, we must begin… Today.
You know how to change the world, so change it. It’s not hard.

This is the reality which we all know. Many of us have actually done this form of catcalled and even at a more dissrespectful level. What is your reaction after seeing this? If you’re a catcaller, will you now stop the rude assaults after seeing it from the outside in?
For those of you with a girlfriend, how would you react if you seen a similar video to this featuring your girlfriend?
This is a topic that should be intoduced in conversation.

What is the price we pay for the past being, which we no longer are? It can be that the person who was involved in our past, refuse to let it remain past; and no matter who you may be now, because of their decision to remain, their vision is impaired from seeing the present, as well as the future.
As you have read in my article “A True Love Ending” where I kissed the black Rose, I was not always as the man that I am today. I was toxic, I was corrupt, I was without knowledge of self. I was with knowledge of mimic, meaning I knew very well how to be the product of my environment. The person who suffered through my lack of self awareness and love understanding, was the person with whom I was with for 5 years. Unfortunately, the things she went through with me traumatized her eternally, because when I from my personal suffering, evolved into a man of enlightenment and truth consciousness, she still saw the man who’s only enlightenment was in a bottle. No matter how much I tried to convince through my actions and no longer just words, her mind was so fixed that neither her eyes nor her heart was able to see that God had entered man. She was so used to the presence of the devil, that she kept looking for him; and as she kept on in search of him, her mind, and her heart, became subdued by him.

image

She became more angry, more thirsty for arguments and situations that provoked them, she starved from understanding and feasted upon confusion and assumptions. She lusted upon her dreams which were nightmares. The man she loved, now became her enemy. There was no longer anything I could do, she was gone.

image

Black love is a powerful force. It is an infinite energy once conjoined. Black love is feared because, its presence alone, eliminates the darkness, by bringing in the Sun more closer to the Earth.
“Such a power must be stopped,” said the one who ruled the night. “How?” Asked the Bishop. “Through separation!” Declared the ruler. “For the light which leads the blind cannot be shed, nor would it any longer be able to lead, if it’s energy is corrupt!” He continued with laughter. “We have rule over the darkness, which means who can strengthen our control to rule over that which gives light to those who travel in darkness. We must mis-lead the moon to lead for us. So that for even when the moon’s light shines, there will be fear of direction. What is the Sun without his Moon? Indeed we must separate the two.”

image

So it was written, and so it was done. Now we must enlighten ourselves upon the result of the experiment that was done on our moon, the black woman. As she has been separated to become so distant from the Black Man.
Now this is not at all an attack on black women. I love my Beautiful. There are many Black Queens who exist and the only “trapping” that they do, is trapping the devil “ruler of the night”, from entering into their kingdom. But because I myself can relate, and know that there are unfortunately a number of black women who are both consciously and unconsciously, tearing their man down rather than helping him build a kingdom. I want to touch on that because I feel like the only way this issue is to be solved, just like any other issue, it’s existence must be discussed.
Many of our women are allowing themselves to be influenced by influences that don’t have their best interest at heart. These influences reside in the music they listen to, the posts they see daily on Instagram and Facebook, other peoples relationship stories, and even certain books they read. They are inspired to read “Think Like A Man,” but not “Spirit of A Man”.

IMG_1058

All of which I have mentioned, have a powerful influence on our women’s minds. Miss-educating them on how “their own” relationship with their man should be, and then they get the idea of “my man should be doing this, oh why he not doing this?! Oh it must be because he’s doing this!” Whatever the “This” is, is a created excuse for separation, and unfortunately, these women who have been encouraged, have many.
These women are very much disabled from being able to let go of their significant others past. Now, if a man has physically harmed you or has assaulted you in a manner which is unforgivable, then hopefully you left him alone after the situation occurred, and you’ve moved on for the betterment of yourself. But our women have been taught to hold onto a grudge against the black man, much harder than they should hold onto their love for him. You see this everyday. Those who accepted the lesson as guidance, you find to be more successful of tearing themselves away and keeping their distance from the black man, more-so than they are successful at keeping the empire which they began to build, alive and moving towards evolution.
The man could have been pretty bad with his relationship in the past, yet he has evolved, grown into a man who has connected with spirit. He no longer thinks, talk, act, or even walk as he once did. But he see’s that his woman cannot accept that, and he himself is heartbroken. She doesn’t see what he has grown to be, because she’s still stuck on what he used to be. So she never grew, only he. She compares his actions to the actions of other men who although may not be the best men, they are black men, and for that reason, but not that reason alone, the intentions of his actions must be the same. She is paranoid of him. Rather than realizing herself and fixing the relationship which has been dissolved between herself and her own heart, she still decides to remain with him, while she doesn’t believe in him. Understand that this is not the woman’s fault, for she was re-programmed to think and function this way.
So what does this do to the man? If he doesn’t save himself, by leaving this toxic woman so that he may healthy develop into the man he is to be, he is subjected to become enslaved by the ruler of the dark’s creation.
He may either fall victim to her wordplay of constantly bringing back the version of him in the past and then become that again, he can continue to try to convince her that he’s changed and then start to live his life convincing her, doing everything to her liking and as she see’s because he loves her and wants to keep her happy. But soon as she doesn’t like something or feel that he’s not pleasing her enough, she hits him in the head with arguments and false allegations intending to make him feel that he is wrong and she is right and that he must still fix himself, because everything about him is still all wrong.
This treatment has turned black men against black women, which is the return result for the turn of black women against their men. A number of couples decide to remain in a relationship although this type of situation occurs, but instead of being an energy of love, they have a relationship built upon hate, distrust, disloyalty, dishonesty, and distance. The worst part about it is that these couples decide to create children, and now their whole family is a product of corruption. The cycle then continues because the children are educated upon what they see at home.

image

We need to fall back in love with each other! Black women need to throw away those toxic books! Turn your eyes away from that which tells lies to your vision (TV). Turn your eyes and your attention from that which you see every day on your social media, that encourage you to solely think outside of your heart, rather than within it. And Black Men, my brothers, we must do the same. If you cannot forgive a man for what he has done in the past, then for the betterment for both him and yourself, you must move on. Do not attempt to keep alive a relationship which you already know is dead of love. This too, also goes for my brothers as well. Are we helping each other build? Or are we facilitating each others fall? This is the question which we must enlighten ourselves upon.
For what is the Sun without the Moon? The Moon without the Sun? For we are an incomplete solar system. Let us not allow ourselves, to become strangers to our own kind.

image

The scent of the black rose…
The scent that we hide from our nose alond with the root that we forbid our eyes from ever seeing, so that we’ll never believe it, so that it never becomes… A rose on our doorstep.

When I started TruLovExists, my goal was to bring everybody together and to get everyone to understand the importance of unconditional love; which we must all have for each other. With every article you were all growing with me, as I was sharing with you, all that I was learning myself along the way. My goal was to make sure that my people don’t make the same mistakes that I’ve made.Every lesson I gave to you, was also a personal lesson that I had to learn. I’ve made many mistakes in the past, many of which have aided to the growth of the man I am today. However, I’ve also made some mistakes that aren’t so distant in the past. Mistakes that have caused me to loose what I’ve cherished most.

You see, TruLove was also inspired by someone, someone who’s been very special to me for 5 years. This special person really defined true love for me. They gave me the kind of love that I wasn’t receiving anywhere else. No matter how many people would come and go in my life, this person was here to stay. She… She gave me her everything. She fought against her parents defending our relationship; and she stood ground no matter how bad they insulted her for dating me. She gave me her heart, her trust, her body… Her soul. She gave me to me and I gave to her, we shared everything. However, I was the cause for the imbalance.

I wasn’t the best man to the women of my intimate past. I was very much a different man going back from the just recent year of 2014. I was a man who didn’t know what to do with all off the pain I’ve received throughout my life. The pain of watching my mother self-abuse, the pain of needing a father who although was miles away, it felt like our distance stretched into the galaxies. Unable to control this pain and not let it control me, and not yet in understanding of who I was as a young black male, I mistreated women. I lied, I cheated, I verbally slaughtered, and I even abandoned.

Today is the day that Karma gave me her hello.

Today, all of the women that I have ever been with can rejoice. For today, I received all that I was due for hurting each and everyone of them.

It was around this time, six years ago, when I was talking to an ex girlfriend on the phone. We were going through a lot of things which caused us to be separated even while we were still in a relationship. I was letting her know that it was over. She was crying to me, telling me that she didn’t understand why we had to break up; told me that she felt that we were stronger than that. I told her that I couldn’t do the relationship anymore, that I wanted to move on, and she would have to do the same. She said that she didn’t know how to just move on from someone she loved, that its not something that she could just so easily do without pain. I told her yes, it would hurt, but that she would just have to start seeing other people until she was over me. The conversation ended after that. Well, fast forward to 5 years later, and here I am now, being told the same thing over the phone, literally.

Scenes of my life began to flash as I heard those words “you’re going to have to start seeing other people.” I couldn’t believe that the time had come, where I would be on the other side where the heart breaks. I was now on the other end of the stick. I was now hearing the same words uttered to me by someone I truly loved, same words I uttered to someone who truly loved me. My TruLove.

Perhaps she is the knight who came to pay retribution for all those I’ve ever caused pain. However I must say, I caused her the most pain. Me and her were together for 5 years. And throughout these 5 years, I wasn’t as equal to her as she was to me. So many times I pushed her aside, and although the sight of her coming back no matter how much pain I had caused her should’ve woke me up, I just kept pushing. I took the fact that she kept coming back for granted, I never thought that our relationship would come to an end. However, here I was now on the other end of the phone, just as my ex was, listening to those brutal words. “You have to move on. We need to separate. We need to see other people. I don’t want this anymore.” Then there I was, begging, begging for her to not just walk away, telling her that we were stronger than a couple that separated. Just the same way as I too, was being begged. She wasn’t hearing it. And then came what I would have never predicted, hate. Her words to me now were lacking love, they were words that was accompanied by a tone that I too once had for her, and my ex. I now realized that I was facing what I never thought would be, the ending of our true love. Although hurt by it, I understood. She was fed up. She had gone through so much pain & suffering within our 5 years of being together, so how could I blame her? Truth is I couldn’t.

We never know what we are taking for granted, until that same person who we’ve abused take their love and shred it right in front of our face. 

Am I saint? No. So did I deserve it, pride once forbid me from showing it but in return for all the things I’ve done, yes, I did, perhaps even more. Perhaps I should be grateful that it wasn’t more. My heart feels abandoned, its confused, it wants light in this pit of darkness. Yet, I’m the one to blame for it being there.

So my message to you readers, those of you who are in a relationship with their current true love. Is that I want you to learn from my wrongs, so that they wont be yours. Although love is such a beautiful thing, it can be a very painful thing if mistreated. So never try to control one another, allow your true love to express his/her feelings and never seek to be the winner of any conversation. Understand that for true love to last, there must be balance, there must be quality between the two of you. Never make your love feel less than a person by complaining about the type of person who they are not and comparing them to other people. You might as well go ahead an be with those other people if they catch your eye so much. Take strong value on conversation and the times you share with each other alone. Bond with each other, do fun things, keep the fame alive! Don’t keep your head down in your phone, that right there is what’s distancing connection. And simply, make sure that if this is something that both of you truly believe in, that you both hold on and don’t allow anything! anything! To tear you apart. That also means don’t do anything that will tear yourselves apart.

So what’s next for me? Well… It’s time to repair what’s broken inside. It’s time to reconstruct, it’s time to truly become my greatest version, as I have inspired all of you to be. I will tell you one thing for sure, that never again will I ever, break a true love’s heart.
True Love Exists, and it’s because of You! Never let it die. Never let the flame go out.
As the final chapter of one book comes to a close, another begins its first…

image

Men, men, men. My brothers, how are you today? I have faith that even though with all of the mishaps going on in the world, that all is well.
So, the question for today is for men, “How to attract the right woman?”

african-american-couple-flirting

                                                                                                                                                                                   

11402742_10153374470542390_5124243902126686925_n

I’m going to start this off with a confession of my own, when I too, once desired the answers to the same exact question.
I used to believe that women are just tooooo difficult! I know, you’re probably saying out loud right now, “what does he mean? All women are difficult, that’s how they naturally are. What does he mean he used to believe that?” Lol, hear me out. I love women. I’ve always felt attached to women, in fact I was, for the most of my life, raised by women. I was always interested in having a relationship with a female ever since I was in kindergarten.I know, to a majority of people who may seem to be young to start thinking about wanting to have that have that type of attachment with a female who isn’t your mother. But what most people have to realize is that, whether male or female, we start the relationship attachment to a female, as soon as the first time our mother holds us in her arms, after we’ve just finished being born. Notice how the tears of a child stops as soon as he/she is in his/her mothers arms.

306477_10151075522342390_441067057_n

Well for me, as I said I was raised by women, but my mother was not able to be so much present during my childhood; I was living with my father. My father had many, many women. During my early childhood,I watched him get into several different relationships and I’ve met several here & go’s with my father. While witnessing my fathers trials, I felt a common connection between him and I. We both wanted to fill a void in our hearts, which was the lack of a free unconditional connection, with one woman. Although a very young child, neither my grandmother nor my aunts who helped in raising me, were able to fill in that void. However, I loved and still love them dearly.

10297605_10152398813197390_5663276671114188383_n

Moving along further in my years, I wanted to figure out how I can get a female in my life, and keep her there. My father, who was obviously unsuccessful with maintaining just one relationship, and my mother, who obviously didn’t stay around, both made me realize that I needed to figure this all out on my own. So I would watch the guys around me at school, who seemed to receive all of the attention from females, and I paid attention to how they would attract the females. I was surprised to learn that I didn’t have to learn much, why? Because everybody was doing the same thing!
Everybody talked the same way, Everybody used the same “game” they all put on the same act! Although confused, I was at a bit of relief. I did not know why they were doing it, all I knew was that it worked. So I did it. I became a thug, I became a rapper ( a very good one), I adopted the slang, and I approached women the same way as all of the other guys approach them. Did I get the women? Yes. Did they stay? Hell No.

10858005_10152890540757390_506101398337197050_n

Why didn’t any of the relationships work out?
I attracted physically beautiful women, because I had “swag”. I attracted physically beautiful women, because they liked that I was among the popular group of individuals. I attracted physically beautiful women, because they liked my money. Notice how, none of what I said they liked, actually included me. At the end of the day, I was being a mimic, not myself, and what one woman would complained about a man, would be in other woman’s complaints, and at the end of the day, it all ended with the most famous complaint of them all! “All guys are the same!”

woman-with-attitude

Let me get a Youuuuu Guessed it!
And they were right, all of the guys they dealt with, were acting the same. Including me. Therefore, none of us were able to keep a successful relationship. We were not able to attract the right woman, who we would end with for the rest of our lives. We weren’t being ourselves, therefore, subconsciously, we were attracting each others women, and ending up with the same results!

Man being rude to woman

So what’s the solution? What did I figure out? How can you attract the right woman in your life?

men-in-black-meme-generator-just-look-into-the-light-b86e2a

Let’s begin…
Number 1
Stop Doing too much!
Come on now fellas! How often are you looking in the mirror and how much time are you spending grooming yourself? Seriously?! I know, I was doing the same thing until I realized how foolish I looked, and that I was getting too in touched with a female trait. There’s nothing wrong with looking good, but a lot of you are competing with the women. Stop That!… Now! A real woman will look at you and not just call you out on your act, but she may not say anything to you at all and just say in her head, “this guy’s a bit funny.” Also, how much money are you spending daily? On clothes, jewelry, drinks, and the other things that guys are using to get women’s attention. The only time of women you are attracting, are materialistic lusting women. You will never be happy, because your happiness will be defined by how happy you are making her with the things you are buying her. Your clothes are not even your clothes. Because guaranteed, if they didn’t grab the attention of those physically gorgeous women, you wouldn’t wear them. You will never be happy this way and will keep moving through different relationships. Real women don’t care about your physical possessions, they’re more concerned about your brains possession. Are you wise? or are you a fool?
Number 2
Have Confidence
A lot of you aren’t confident in yourselves, and that’s why you’re either still single, or relationships don’t seem to work out for you. All women can sense whether a man has or lacks self-confidence. Be confident in yourselves! You are men! We are kings! We are gods! We are each individually unique beings. An outstanding possession of confidence within self, will without a doubt, attract the right woman. Don’t be afraid to approach a woman, and don’t be afraid to speak your mind to any woman. Real women, lusts confidence.
Number 3
Be Original
If you didn’t pick this up from my story above, my friend, I don’t know what to tell you, besides that you must be comfortable behind a mask. Besides loving yourself, there is absolutely nothing more important than being yourselves, and using number two’s rule by having confidence in being yourselves. Don’t be afraid of being who you are. You like comics? Keep loving it! You love animals (as you should) keep loving them! You love to read and seek knowledge? Keep reading and keep seeking! If a female doesn’t agree with it, oh well! She’s not the one for you! Move along my friend. What I’ve learned is that, you will find the person who you will love, by doing what you love! So just keep doing it! There’s only one you in this world, and you’re only in your flesh for one lifetime. Why put it to waste by pretending to be inside another?
Final 4
Love Yourself
I’m going to end these lesson on an even number because there is absolutely nothing odd, about loving yourself. If you do not love your self, nobody will truly love nor really respect you. Read that line again to yourselves and whomever you feel may need to hear it. The lack of love for ourselves is what makes this world seem like it’s under total destruction. Because we don’t love of ourselves, we are causing total destruction to our own selves. Putting whatever type of food in our mouths, acting outside of our true nature, treating other people with hate, having toxic emotions like jealousy and envy, allowing other people to treat us any kind of way. These are all things that derive from the lack of love, for ourselves. If you do not love yourself, men, you will fall for any relationship, and not only is it a high possibility that the female wont love you as well, but you will be treating each other bad. A lack of love for self, allows no love to enter into a relationship. A lack of love for self, disconnects you with your inner you, it disconnects you from the world. Love yourselves gentlemen, don’t worry about who doesn’t like or who may or may not love you. Love yourself, and your TruLove will come. You can hold my word on that one.
There you go fellas! The 4 ways to attract the right woman. I hope you use it effectively and I hope that your TruLove, is not too far away from entering into your lives. Fell free to ask questions or add onto the list!

tumblr_lwohh0AdIB1r7s52yo1_500

This is TruLove- Opening your hearts & expanding your minds!